Empty Nest Mummy

Big Boy returned home from school yesterday afternoon and, as usual, got straight into sorting out his Match Attax (football) cards into a Dream Team to beat all teams. Nothing unusual about that, it’s what he does every single day after school.

After about half an hour, I felt a little tap on my arm.

“Mummy. I think you should give me £1 every time I get 10 out of 10 in my spelling test”.

Mummy adopts contemplative look. “Big Boy, I don’t really understand why I would do that”.

“To reward me”.

Mummy contemplates once more. “Big Boy, I reward you with extra kisses and cuddles and tell you how proud I am of you”.

“Mmmmmm”, and returns to his Dream Team.

So, for now, Mummy wins. But Mummy knows this is a temporary victory.

Now, for many reasons, I don’t want to start financially compensating Big Boy for spelling tests. He is perfectly happy to sit down on Sunday and learn his spellings without inducements and nearly always gets 10 out of 10 anyway. And, if I do start forking out, is that the thin end of the wedge? What’s next? Paying out for every tick he gets on his homework page? An extra bonus if he gets a shiny golden ‘Teacher’s Homework Award’ sticker?

And what about his sister? There’s no way gobby Littlest Angel will sit back and watch her brother getting money without her hand stretching out too. But she’s only 4 and doesn’t get any homework yet!

But also, I’m not ready for this yet; not ready to swap our family currency of love, cuddles, well-done-yous and stickers for cold, hard cash.

And shouldn’t I be encouraging the children to do their best for the sake of doing their best?

Or am I just being a tight-arse? Or perhaps even jealous because my mum didn’t pay out for my school performances.

Cue much discussion with Northern Husband last night. Unlike me, he was financially compensated by his parents for academic achievements. He can remember very well, despite it being in what we refer to as ‘The Olden Days’, his mother offering him money for each GCSE grade he achieved. Did it make him work harder? I think it speaks volumes that he can remember the money, but not that it made him work any harder at all. I suspect it just made his mother feel better!

So, I think we have firmly decided, for now anyway, that there will be no Cash for Spellings. Just cuddles.

However, it is perhaps time that we thought about Pocket Money. And this, of course, opens a huge Can of Worms.

How much do you pay? How much does everyone else the same age get? What are you allowed to buy with it? Does Littlest Angel get it too? Does an older child get more than a younger one? Are they allowed to buy chocolate? Do they have to do any jobs to get it? Is it index-linked?

….do they have to do any jobs to get it? This opens up a whole other debate, doesn’t it? At the moment, both Big Boy and Littlest Angel get up in the morning, get dressed, make their bed and tidy away their PJs. They do this for free. And, if I can get this kind of performance for free, I really don’t see why I should start paying for it! (See, told you I was a tight-arse)

And, if we do start forking out pocket money, do I have some kind of clawback system? Do I keep money back if bedrooms aren’t tidied, if anyone is told off at school, if anyone uses bad language? And, if we start on bad language, does it count if it is part of a song, or said in rhyming couplets? Essentially, if poo is used as a rhyme for loo, is this art? Or still bad language?

I’d love to know your thoughts on Pocket Money. Feel free to join the debate in the Comment section.