Forgive me, Social Media, for I have sinned.

It wasn’t deliberate. It wasn’t planned. But I have sinned. And I beg your forgiveness.

It all started when I needed some groceries.

I took the car.

I rarely do.

..it’s just too big, you see.

And my parking ability is too small.

It’s safe to say that the car and I are not a match made in heaven.

So, I needed some groceries. And I took the car.

I drove around the tiny Waitrose car park twice. Looking for a space.

…not just any space.

…a big space.

A big space for my inappropriately large car

..and my inappropriately small parking ability.

And that’s when I saw it….

….The PARENT & CHILD parking space

Dear Social Media, I’m truly sorry for what happened next.

It was a momentary lapse. A moment of madness.

Yes, Social Media, I lurched my giant car into the Parent & Child space.

And, no, Social Media, I did not have a child in my giant car.

Even as I did it, I knew I was doing wrong. Committing a crime.

Especially when I say a slightly cross looking lady trying to catch my eye.

….so I studiously ignored her.

I even ignored her as she came right up to the car. And as she peered through the window at the baby car seats.

..the empty baby car seats.

And then, Social Media, I made it worse.

…far, far worse.

I could have just moved the car. Accepted my error and moved the car.

..but I didn’t.

I told the lady that my child was in the library next door with her granny.

And that I was picking her up.

It must be said that the lady did not look like she believed one word of it as she left.

But she left, storming furiously towards the supermarket.

…and me?

Well, with heart racing and palms sweating, I went to do my grocery shopping.

And panicked all the way around the shops. Panicked that I’d bump into the furious lady.

And did my shopping in record quick time.

By the time I had raced around the shop, I was in quite a lather.

I was terrified of being caught out lying.

Of getting told off.

Now, I could have just thrown my groceries into the car and driven off.

But I didn’t, dear Social Media.

I didn’t.

Instead I went into the library to look for my ‘child’.

…just in case anyone was following me. Watching me. Waiting to unmask me as a liar. A liar and a fraud.

I even went upstairs to the Children’s library.

And was horrified to see the Parking Attendant in the car park below circling my car.

..or so I imagined.

So, with no child in sight to offer a lift home to, I returned to the car park.

And did I leave it there?

Is that where my nonsense ended?

No, dear Social Media, it is not.

I called my Mum as I left the library.

And loudly, with a face of annoyance, asked the poor woman where on earth was she? (In Devon). And where on earth had she gone to from the library. (In London). And loudly admonished her for changing plans without asking me.

And I carried on this whole charade all the way to the car.

And then dived in really quickly.

And drove out of the Mother & Child parking space.

…where I should never have been in the first place.

Can you forgive me, dear Social Media?

I truly repent.

I’ll never do it again.

….not least because I was so stressed that I forgot half my shopping

….and had to go back again the next day

…and this time I didn’t park in the Parent & Child parking space.

So, Social Media, I acknowledge that I did wrong. And, on bended knee, I beg you for your forgiveness.

Can you forgive me?

(The Confessional: If you have committed a wrong and would like to ask Social Media for forgiveness, please email me at martina@emptynestmummy.com)