From the minute you have your first baby, you’ll have decisions to make. And lots of them. Bottle or breast? Cot or co-sleep? To swaddle or not to swaddle? To give your baby a dummy, or have thumb-sucking?

Of course, there are also countless parenting decisions to be made even before your precious little infant pops out. Or is dragged out. There’s another one. Natural birth or C-section?

After lots of time-wasting and several false starts, I didn’t finally have my first baby until I was 37. So I had time to think about what I was going to do when I finally got a baby. Plenty of time.

And I knew exactly how I was going to do it.

Breast. Because breast is best. (Not sure I really took on board how utterly time-consuming it was going to be)

Cot. Because I was terrified of squashing the baby. (Even more so when I saw how enormous my breast-feeding boobs were)

Swaddle. Because it would soothe my little infant and make him think he was tucked up in the womb again.

No dummy. Definitely no dummy. Because I just couldn’t bear the look of them. And I was going to be such a perfect mummy that I’d soothe my baby myself, rather than resort to a ropey looking piece of plastic and rubber.

Parenting decisions made.

…..and that’s where my problems began.

No to the dummy? No problem for Baby One.

Baby One didn’t have a dummy. Ever. Not even when my Mother-in-Law, tired at his crying, suggested that he needed a dummy. I was quietly incensed. But I knew best.

To be honest, Baby One was picked up and cuddled, pawed at and manhandled at the very first hint of any crying. Having waited so very long to have a baby, I didn’t need any excuse to pick up, cuddle and sniff my little dolly.

Babies often use a dummy to self-soothe. But Baby One had absolutely no need of that. I was there at his beck and call. Watching for any hint of distress. Ready to pick up and soothe him myself.

When I popped him down for his nap, I’d stroke him, sing gentle songs to him and watch him fall asleep.

Parenting decisions: Smug Mummy 1 – Dummy 0

And along came Baby Two. Still no dummy.

Just before Baby One hit his second birthday, his little sister was born.

Now, as mums of two all know, Baby Two is a little trickier than Baby One.

When Baby Two cried, I did respond. But I did take longer to respond. Because I was busy. Busy making sure Baby One didn’t throw himself down some steps. Or getting him a snack. Or generally being at his beck and call.

When I popped Baby Two down for her nap, I’d race up the stairs with her, kiss her and half-throw her into the cot. I needed to get back downstairs to her big brother asap. No stroking, no gentle songs. And certainly no watching her fall asleep.

After a couple of weeks, I noticed that Baby Two would put her head on my shoulder and put her thumb in her mouth as soon as I started to take her upstairs.

Oh how very sweet she looked! And how clever to soothe herself so Mummy could get back to her Big Brother!

Parenting decisions: Smug Mummy 2 – Dummy 0

Baby 2, aged 2. Still no dummy.

I’m not sure when I started to question my parenting decision about not having a dummy.

I was certainly inwardly very smug about my children’s lack of dummy for quite a long time. Probably several years. Smug about how they didn’t need a dummy. Probably smugly thought they didn’t need a dummy as they had me.

Now, that might have been the case for my oldest child. But not the youngest. She didn’t need a dummy because she had her thumb.

And she had become quite the thumb-sucker.

She was hooked on it. Overly attached to it. Quite literally.

….and that’s when I realized we had a problem. And that Smug Mummy had made a mistake.

Parenting decisions: Smug Mummy 2 – Dummy 1

The Perils of Thumb-sucking

Now, I’m sure all you readers, especially those who were savvy enough to allow dummies, know where I’m going with this.

Fast-forward a few years, and Littlest Angel still sucks her thumb.

I thought she’d give it up when she went to part-time nursery. Nope. Still sucking.

I was sure she’d give it up when she started at Big School. Nope. Still sucking.

So now she has horrid looking thumb nails that crack easily and dry, red skin on her thumbs, all from that bloody thumb-sucking.

And, of course, she’s doing damage to her teeth. That’s the bit that bothers me most. The damage to her teeth.

So we just need to get her to stop.

As those meerkats would say, simples. No?

No. Far from it.

Parenting decisions: Smug Mummy 2 – Dummy 2

How to stop a child from Thumb-sucking

When I made that parenting decision not to allow a dummy all those years ago, I never once thought of thumb-sucking. Or, more precisely, that once it started, it might be very hard to stop it.

I just thought about all the people I knew whose kids sucked dummies, and all the struggles they had getting them to stop the dummy. All the coaxing and cajoling, the threats and the bribes and, if all that failed, the hiding of the dummy. And then throwing the dummy away.

What I didn’t think about was that you can do this with a dummy. Ultimately, you can hide and throw away a dummy without any major issues. OK, OK, there’ll be weeping, wailing, shouting and screaming. Maybe for a few hours. Or a few days.

But how do you stop a child from sucking their own thumb?

You can’t hide or throw away a thumb!

I’ve tried requests, polite reminders, distractions, telling off, coaxing, cajoling and bribing. I’ve offered her a watch of her very own if she stops. Specifically, a Rapunzel watch of her very own. Even more specifically, a watch of her very own featuring the witch from Rapunzel cutting off Rapunzel’s hair. (I know, I know, you shouldn’t promise something you are pretty sure doesn’t even exist. I should certainly add this to the list of Things I never thought I’d do as a parent)

….But all to no avail.

When she’s tired, or watching TV, or just relaxing, the thumb goes in. And it’s the devil’s own job trying to get it out again.

So, I’m back to the internet to read ways to help children stop sucking their thumb. Again.

I wish I’d just let her have a dummy!

Parenting Decisions: Smug Mummy 2 – Dummy 3

If you’ve got any ideas how I can get Littlest Angel to break her horrid thumb-sucking habit, please tell me in the Comments. I’m at my wit’s end!

… and then I’ll start Googling Rapunzel watches. Specifically ones featuring the witch cutting off Rapunzel’s hair.