Big Boy was off school recently for a few days, one of those things where they have to stay off for 48 hours. Now, there wasn’t actually anything wrong with him, so he did lots of football training. And spent a lot of time reading Match of the Day magazines and making Dream Teams.

Yes, he’s got this football bug badly. It’s not a hobby; it’s an obsession. (Click here to read about his previous obsessions). He is a Football Mad Kid.

Now, I can sense Dad readers smiling and nodding their head in appreciation. And my Mum readers groaning and rolling their eyes. And hoping that this football bug isn’t contagious. That their child won’t become a Football Mad Kid. But Mums, there’s lots to be thankful for. I’d say that it’s even wonderful.

And I’ll take it one stage further by saying there are 7 Wonders of Being Mum to a Football Mad Kid!

1. See Mother Nature at Her Finest

By this I mean you’ll be up close and personal with Mother Nature.

With Mother Nature and all she throws at you.

You’ll be standing in pouring rain, freezing half to death, a forced smile literally frozen on your lips.

What a joy!

2. It’s a Numbers Game

You’ll learn more stats and facts about the beautiful game than your 20 year old self will have ever imagined possible.

After a while you might even remember the facts. Or some of them.

Which will come in handy when you are given Footie Quizzes. Over and over again.

3. In the mouth of the goal

You’ll have a choice to make now. A very serious and life-changing choice. Will you try to save goals and sustain injury? Or risk going down as the worst goalie ever and dive out of the way of the oncoming ball?

Dear readers, I chose the latter. Don’t judge.

4.Stats, Stats and more stats

Every morning you’ll be woken by questions on the football results. Who scored? In what minute? How did it happen? Who assisted?

…And God help you if you don’t know the answers. All of them.

5. Great value clothes

A Liverpool FC t-shirt, shorts and footie socks set retails at £69. Yes, you read that correctly. £69.

Now obviously this is a massive amount of money for a sweaty polyester top and shorts combo. But we’re talking about value, not price.

Big Boy wears his full Liverpool kit on all occasions. Well, all occasions where I let him. He wears it for own clothes day at school, after school and on Saturday afternoon when he’s out of his little team kit.

He has even been known to wear it on Sunday to Mass. He successfully argued that it was his best clothes, and thus fell into the ‘Sunday Best’ category. I couldn’t really argue with that faultless logic.

However, I did draw the line at the shinpads for Mass. And the football studs.

Thus, on a price per wear, his LFC kit is the very cheapest item of clothing that he owns.

Per wear, his 69 quid sweaty LFC kit costs just pennies.

It almost feels like he is being paid to wear it.

6. A boy magnet

If you have a football mad kid, he’ll never be alone. Or Never Walk Alone as the Liverpool song goes.

In some kind of scientific Laws of Attraction, a footie-mad boy is a magnet for other like-minded creatures. Wherever we go, Big Boy will find another footie-mad boy. And, as with magnetic attraction, it is immediate.

Within minutes of arriving at San Terenzo beach in Italy, he’ll have started a football game with another boy. Despite a lack of common language. Communicating via hand signals and waggy fingers, two footie-mad boys don’t need words.

Is it science? Or is it magic?

7 . Sheer happiness

People spend a great deal of time searching for happiness. A great deal of time and money.

But the answer isn’t at the bottom of a bottle, or in a luxurious health spa.

Happiness is an air-filled plastic sphere. With a small boy’s foot near it.

Happiness is footie. For a football mad kid.

And for the mum of a football mad kid. Despite the wind and the rain, the questions and the quizzes.

The smile that lights up his little face makes it all worthwhile.

Do you have a football mad kid already? Or do you live in fear and dread that it might happen to you too one day? Do let me know in the Comments.